Al-Maliki Launches Political Surge on Washington

“Operation Phantom Congress” will provide 1,000 Iraqi interns

WASHINGTON—As part of a “political surge” launched by Iraqi prime minister Nouri al-Maliki, the first members of an eventual 1,000-man-and woman-strong force of Iraqi legislative interns began arriving on Capitol Hill early Wednesday morning.

Citing low approval ratings and a lackluster record of achievements, al-Maliki believes Congress’ Democratic majority has a thing or two to learn from the Iraqi parliament. “They have been in office nine months, but what signs of progress do we see? What has been accomplished?” he asked.

Over the coming months the interns will mentor congressional Democrats and their staffs on legislative affairs. Members will receive training on issues the nascent Iraqi parliament has contended with in recent years, such as transparency during the legislative process, how to fairly conduct floor votes, and avoiding bribery and corruption—matters essential for the success of any legitimate democracy.

But Al-Maliki urged Americans and Iraqis to be patient, cautioning, “We have a considerable mission ahead of us. If there are indications of improvement in several months, we may be able to pull back some of the force. However, if we withdraw our support too soon, the U.S. Congress may find itself once again unable to stand on its own.”

The newly-arrived interns began their stay by organizing a public rally outside the Russell Senate Office Building. Angry taxpayers chanted and threw rocks and sticks at the building’s facade. “It’s a shame,” said 19-year-old intern Ahmed Rushid, “There just isn’t a sense of urgency to do anything in this Congress, and we’re hoping we can change that.”

One of the most exciting aspects of the surge is a special task force led by Fareedah al-Suleiman, a 20-year-old Baghdad University junior. The unit completed its first successful operation on Thursday: while Congress was holding hearings and committee meetings on Capitol Hill, the unit apprehended four Democratic congressmen who surrendered after al-Suleiman and her colleagues cornered them in a grove of pine trees on a Maryland golf course.

Response to the surge has been generally favorable among the White House and Republicans, but some Democrats have reacted negatively. Though “intrigued” by one intern’s suggestion for a four- or even five-day congressional work week, Speaker Nancy Pelosi denounced the intervention as superfluous: “I have seen the polls and I am convinced that we are meeting the American people’s expectations. Specifically they expect Congress to waste time and waste money, and we are fulfilling those expectations marvelously.”