Democrats rise above the riffraff. Approval ratings for the Democratic-controlled Congress rocketed into the thirties following the press conference, approaching even President Bush’s numbers. Still, Democrats’ limelight was in part eclipsed by news of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff’s urgent order to dispatch 2,000 FEMA workers to deal with severe snowstorms in Hell. And it remains to be seen whether Americans will rally behind Democrats over the long term. Said one troll displaced by the icy weather conditions, “This all smells a little fishy. In particular, I’d say Sen. Clinton’s comments require the willing suspension of disbelief.” Read about the anonymous senator’s quote to the Politico (This is not made up!):
WASHINGTON—Senate Democrats condemn liberal advocacy group MoveOn.org for assailing the honesty of Gen. David Petraeus, stated Majority leader Harry Reid in a Democratic press conference Sunday. Senate Democrats faced staunch pressure this week to denounce the ad published in Monday’s New York Times, which referred to the general as “General Betray Us” and accused him of “cooking the books for the White House.”
The Democrats’ position was further complicated by the words of an anonymous senator, whom the Sept. 8 Politico reported as saying “No one wants to call [Petraeus] a liar on national TV. The expectation is that the outside groups will do this for us.”
The press conference immediately followed an emergency closed-door meeting of the Senate Democratic Caucus. Reid told reporters, “We as a party discussed the individual’s comments to the Politico, and our consensus was that they were wholly inappropriate. We fervently denounce this shameful attack on one of our nation’s most respected generals, and we ask MoveOn to apologize to Gen. Petraeus and to the American people.”
Asked by a reporter how this censure could impact Democrats’ relationship with MoveOn and other liberal grassroots organizations, Sen. Charles Schumer, chairman of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign, acknowledged that Democrats could miss MoveOn’s fundraising support in the 2008 election if a rift with the group ensued. He explained, “We’re not playing politics here. We’re doing the right thing.”
Sen. Hillary Clinton spoke next, adding, “I personally found the ad’s content revolting and I don’t hesitate to condemn it. I’m telling America loud and clear: MoveOn and the far-left blogosphere do not own the Democratic party!” Reid ended the conference by recognizing two or three areas of improvement in Iraq and promising to work with the president and Republicans to forge a bipartisan compromise to reduce the American presence in Iraq.
The streets of Washington were lined with gumdrops and lollipops as Sen. Reid departed from the press conference on the back of a majestic griffin. Sen. Clinton was escorted away by her husband, Bill, in a lovely pumpkin-shaped carriage. As the conference dispersed, one observer noted, “After what just happened, you can’t doubt the honor and integrity of Sen. Reid and the Democrats. They’re patriots—they love America.” Several Dr. Seuss characters in attendance concurred.
Some commentators interpreted the evening’s events as the beginning of a new strategy to appeal to middle-of-the-road voters rather than continuing to placate the radical left. But Democrats’ move seems to have struck a nerve with members of the left-wing blogosphere. Typical of their reaction were the words of liberal blogger Merlin the Magician, who vowed to summon “dragons and fireballs” upon the “fascist Bush-loving pigs” in the Democratic party.
Republicans, on the other hand, were taken pleasantly by surprise. “I don’t believe my ears,” said one Republican Senate aid. President Bush said through a spokesperson that he looked forward to a new spirit of stewardship and bipartisanship in confronting challenges to America’s national security. The president was unavailable for direct comment, as he was en route to Fairchild Air Force base in Washington state to inspect the first live Sasquatch specimen ever captured in the lower 48 states.
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0907/5713_Page2.html
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