Obama Touts Child's Cure

NEW YORK—The Obama campaign countered John McCain’s charges that the Illinois senator lacks the experience to solve challenges from Islamic terror, a weak economy, and the nation’s energy crisis with reports of a New Jersey woman who credits Obama with her son’s sudden recovery from leukemia.

According to reports, oncologists at New York University Medical Center have informed the family of seven-year-old Elias Rivera that the boy’s tumor has fully disappeared. The good news comes after thirteen nights in which his mother, Maria, claims to have placed a small lock of Obama’s hair under her son’s pillow as he slept.

The Obama campaign quickly seized on the story as proof of their candidate’s fitness for the Oval Office. Contrary to recent McCain attack ads dismissing his opponent as a “celebrity,” Obama supporters argue that the Rivera story provides powerful evidence that he can substantially improve life for ordinary Americans.

Since the story first broke on Wednesday, support for Obama has multiplied in the Riveras’ hometown of Paterson. Outside their apartment building, locals have begun holding candlelight vigils in the hopes of a second miracle. With nightly headcount now at over 600 believers, city officials predict that turnout at an upcoming Obama campaign visit to the family could rival attendance at the candidate’s fabled Berlin speech.

The Rivera narrative may prove a game-changer for the November election. “If true,” paranormal expert Roy Bearson informed us, “then everything the Republicans are saying would be wrong. Obama would be a panacea for all that is broken in America. Imagine if you could stop terrorism, global warming, high gas prices, economic inequality—all with a snap of your fingers.”

As is to be expected, the Rivera saga is not without its skeptics in the medical establishment: Elias’s doctors attribute his turnaround to months of a rigorous chemotherapy regimen. But for Rivera and those willing to trust in the unknown, Barack Obama is likely to end up the favored candidate.